Brokaw: We worked hard on this debate format, and our time is very limited. That is, our time is limited. Have I made clear that our time is limited?
Audience Member: What about invading Darfur and destroying their oil in order to solve our financial crisis?
McCain: My friends. You cannot do this by doing that. I have always. Won't. Must. Always. Country.
Obama: Anything you don't like is George Bush's fault. If elected, I will give everything to everyone.
Michelle Obama: I'm wearing a red dress with sparkly stuff on it. And I have cleavage.
Cindy McCain: I'm also wearing sparkly stuff, and while my breasts are not as nice as Michelle's, my hair is dyed very, very blonde.
Uncommitted Ohio voters: Yay! Meh. Yay! Meh. Yay!
McCain ain't doing it, folks. He is swinging, but not leaving a mark. The economy is spiraling into the sun, which favors the Democrats. McCain can't match Obama's charisma. Although there's a month to go, I don't see how my Republicans can pull this out. I think we're in for four to eight years of (very) liberal Democratic rule.
All I can do is creep into my hole and try to stay safe while the great thunder lizards stomp about overhead.