A Better Homes and Gardens lying around the nurses' station a few nights ago sported this headline on the cover: "Take your bedroom from boring to Bold."
So I did.
My bedroom nudged my shoulder in the middle of the night. "Dude! Let's go free climb El Capitan!"
"Whaaa -- ?"
"If we enlisted, do you think they'd send us to Iraq? Or we could do le parkour over abandoned housing projects and parking garages. Hey! Let's go to clubs, hit on arrogant blondes with small noses, and have unprotected sex with them! And I want to direct a production of Macbeth, but as a musical comedy, with costume design similar to Gentlemen Prefer Blondes."
I pried open my eyes and glared at the clock radio. "Bedroom, what's got into you? It's the middle of the night. I just want to sleep."
"I'll run you for U.S. Senate. I'll be we could really straighten this country out! Let's flip run-down tax-sale properties in California and Florida. And I've got this great idea about how to spread November orange juice against January aluminum. And I want to reanimate Santa Claus from the DNA in relics of Archbishop Nicholas of Myra."
"You're insane," I mumbled. I was beginning to regret the flocked wallpaper, bearskin rugs, and mounted jackalope heads.
"Fortune favors the brave!" the bedroom insisted.
So I stripped the wallpaper, installed an earthtone low shag, replaced the Chinese export antiques with stuff from Ethan Allen, ditched the Erte prints, and repainted the whole room in beige.
The next night my bedroom waited until I was asleep, then nudged my shoulder. "Take a look at your portfolio. Needs more bonds, all those stock index funds are too scary. Why, they go up and down all the time! And you should increase your life insurance coverage. Trust me on this."
I rolled over and went back to sleep. Who the hell wants a bold bedroom, anyway?
大皿 == oozara
== (noun) large plate, platter
|Originally a pictograph of a stemmed bowl. Henshall suggests taking the outline as a 'dish on a plate', with the two inner vertical strokes as 'fluting', and as a mnemonic: 'Fluted dish on plate.'|