Be wise. Be brave. Be tricky. (slithytove) wrote,
Be wise. Be brave. Be tricky.
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Bulwer-Lytton Awards

THE 2001 Bulwer-Lytton Awards have been announced, and are available here!

What are the Bulwer-Lytton Awards? The San Jose University website explains it thus:

Conceived to honor the memory of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, encourage word play, and promote the universal improvement of mankind, the contest challenges entrants to compose bad opening sentences to imaginary novels. Bulwer was selected as patron of the competition because he opened his novel Paul Clifford (1830) with the immortal words, "It was a dark and stormy night." Lytton is also responsible for the line, "The pen is mightier than the sword," and the expression "the great unwashed." His best known work is probably The Last Days of Pompeii.

Read these. They're very funny. IMO, the 'Romance' and 'Western' categories work the best. An example:

My first night with Anastasia was the kind of magical, passionate ride that left me with my pants on the back of the kitchen chair, my underwear on the chandelier, my socks in the toilet, my hair on the door handle, half of my artificial leg somewhere in the pantry, my kidney in a Coleman ice chest on its way to the Moroccan black market, and my car in a Tijuana auto repair shop with new, red, diamond-tuck interior.

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